SHERRIFHALL ROUNDABOUT
Of the many thousands of stories I’ve written over the centuries, the most popular have not been about love, the search for the meaning of life, or even the invasion of the robot sex-centaurs of Rigel 9. No, I can categorically say, without a shadowings of a doubtings, the theme that has most captured the imagination of the reader has been… traffic congestion and road management.
Let me tell you for why.
I recently posted an account of my Easter holiday at the Sherrifhall Roundabout just outside Edinburgh. I’d hoped that, algorithm willing, it might come to the attention of a smattering of my Facebook friends, but it seemed to strike a chord with a powerful number of motorists, to the extent that I was interviewed about the reaction by a journalist from the Edinburgh Evening News.
Now, here’s da thing. I posted that post more than a decade after I posted a post on Facebook that went unexpectedly viral and then was picked up by several newspapers. The subject of that post — the traffic diversion in operation during the closure of the Forth Road Bridge.
Basically, what I’m saying is, you can’t argue with cold, hard readership data. So, from now on, I will be focussing all of my efforts on giving the reading public what it wants - action-packed tales of potholes, lane closures, and temporary traffic lights. Who knows I may even get round to finishing my novella based around the exciting world of freight vehicle logistics on the A92!
In the unlikely event that road management related fiction isn’t your cup of tea, I do have some non-traffic related writing news to report. For example, I done me my first interview with a US literary magazine - the brilliantly weird and weirdly brilliant Weird Lit Magazine. I sure would be obliged if you were to take a gander (it won't even cost you two bits). As well as writerly matters, I talks about my penchant for nocturnal dirges, give my thoughts on artichokes, and spill the beans on why we haven’t met sentient lifeforms from other planets… yet.
You can read my short story 'Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza' in the Spring edition of Weird Lit Magazine.
If you enjoyed a slice of my 'Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza, Pizza' you may want to sink your teeth into 'A Plate of Crocodile Testicles' over at Full House Lit. You can even listen to me as I read this flash fiction piece with the added bonus of hearing my impression of a five-year-old boy.
Talking of boys, every day my son demands that I tell him about something embarrassing that’s happened to me. A bit like 'Tales of 1001 Nights', but if instead of stories about magical spirits and mystical lands, all the stories have to involve me being humiliated. I’ve certainly got a large supply of such incidents, but it's not inexhaustible, so to avoid being executed at dawn, I’ve had to start making shit up.
One such embellishment has been published in an anthology called 'The Alien Buddha Talks to Animals'. It’s one of my son’s favourite embarrassing stories, so if you’re anything like him, you might want to check it out.
Meanwhile, The Bare Bones Box of Humour continues to receive rave reviews, and, if I may be so bold as to blow my own flugelhorn (and what is this website for if not blowing my own flugelhorn?), here are some of the delightful things that have been said about my story…
"In Allan Miller’s “The Developments,” the narrator’s attempt to identify a possible dinosaur fossil and his eagerness to mail it to Professor Brusatte echo the naïve narrators of Twain or Wodehouse—figures who are confident, curious, and often disastrously wrong. His imagined discovery of a “prehistoric treasure trove” mirrors the comic delusion that animates Don Quixote: the desire for the world to be grander, stranger, more dramatic than it is." (USAWA Literary Review)
"Allan Miller’s “The Developments” is among the finest pieces in the collection. Miller taps into magical realism with a wry Scottish humour. The long shadow of a curse cast by a builder runs through a person’s life as he tries to find a solution. There is a repeated deflation of mystery, where dinosaur bones are revealed as sheep remains and ancient coins are but chocolate coins. The ending is excellent, and one won’t see the plot twist coming." (Scroll.In)
“One of the funniest stories in the book…“The Developments” by Allan Miller" (Cha: An Asian Literary Journal)
"I’ll shout out a few gems in particular: The Developments by Allan Miller transposes Irish faerie lore into the modern day tactics of real estate developers." (The Belfast Review)
"Allan Miller’s “The Developments” is among the finest pieces in the collection. Miller taps into magical realism with a wry Scottish humour. The long shadow of a curse cast by a builder runs through a person’s life as he tries to find a solution. There is a repeated deflation of mystery, where dinosaur bones are revealed as sheep remains and ancient coins are but chocolate coins. The ending is excellent, and one won’t see the plot twist coming." (Scroll.In)
“One of the funniest stories in the book…“The Developments” by Allan Miller" (Cha: An Asian Literary Journal)
"I’ll shout out a few gems in particular: The Developments by Allan Miller transposes Irish faerie lore into the modern day tactics of real estate developers." (The Belfast Review)
Not bad flugelhorning eh? The Bare Bones Box of Humour is a collection funny short stories from around the world. If you'd like to add it to your laughter library it's available to buy in the UK here...
That’s all for this update, but please feel free to peruse the rest of this site for more stories and shenanigans and whatnot. xxx
